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“Omnibot Saves Christmas Eve”

Post Author Take1 / December 20th 2012


Written by a Take 1 Typist

The Take One Team got snowed in

As the office was due to close

How can all the colleagues get home?

It’s something that nobody knows

 

The snow had reached over knee height

While working away inside

But no-one had even noticed

‘Til somebody stepped outside

 

Louise said [SPANISH DIALOGUE]

Others [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]*!#!*

If none of us can get outta here

We’ll have to stay here to sleep!

 

Jenny’s cycle chain was frozen up

Catherine’s Beetle Bug was stuck

Along with Dom’s Alpha Romeo

Oh it really was such bad luck!

 

The heating had already switched off

It really was getting quite cold

So Jimmy suggested hot coffees

But everyone there wasn’t sold

 

Jack was yearning his local pub

‘Cause he really fancied a beer

So Carole’s been trawling the internet

But can’t find a route that’s clear

 

Houdini could’ve found them a way out

He’s achieved lots of tricky escapes

But is already tucked up for winter

Being the time that he hibernates

 

If only Louise’s Newfoundland

Was there it’d get through the snow

They’d tie it to Caroline’s wakeboard

And in turns they then all could go

 

The temperature drops even further

Steve’s toes turn purplish blues

And he finally has to admit it

He really should keep on his shoes

 

Caroline’s so good under pressure

But solutions she has not yet found

So Carole…Mmmm… shares out Rolos

I guess [SIGHS] that we are snowbound

 

Dominique keeps wanting to make lists

It’s not like we’re climbing Mount Doom

Surely we cannot all give up

We’ll find a way out of here soon

 

[SHRIEKING] Then Adrian remembers

Harry Potter’s wand he loves so much

He then passes it over to Charlie

‘Cause he’s known for his magical touch

 

Charlie then gingerly waves it at

Josh’s latest model Lego shuttle

Whispers something [INAUDIBLE]

And everyone starts to chuckle

 

Suddenly [BANG] there’s a puff of smoke

The shape of a mushroom cloud

Rather like Alice’s ornament and

Julia [RAUCOUS LAUGH] gets loud

 

Sorry to say his spell didn’t work

The Lego shuttle lay lifeless

Anyone else got a bright idea?

That one [CLEARS THROAT] t’was priceless!

 

Er… just a thought, says Linda

Um… I know you’ll think I’m bats

Can we somehow adapt the portal?

‘Cause I need to get home to the cats

 

IT [TALKED OVER EACH OTHER]

They gave it considerable thought

Consulted Omnibot 2000, while

Charging double-A batteries they’d bought

 

Glynis thinks there’s no harm in trying

Plus, whenever Dom’s due at LA

He won’t have to go through an airport

Or have pricey tickets to pay

 

Jimmy gives out a last word of warning

That accuracy really is key

If travelling home through the portal

On arrival I still must be me

 

There follows on plenty of [CHATTER]

Omnibot is then put in command

Understands [SPECIALIST TERMINOLOGY]

And the first volunteer is then scanned

 

So Omnibot whirrs into action

Digitally transfers each one them home

But although Omnibot’s now their hero

He’s left spending Christmas alone

 

The office is lonely without the team

He wonders…  Does anyone care?

[TUT]

But finds underneath the Christmas tree

There’s presents from all who work there

[CUT]



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